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Why does my relationship feel so hard?

Your relationship feels painful, distant, or difficult. You’ve invested so much, but you’re filled with doubt about the future. Why does this relationship feel so much harder than it used to? Why doesn't it feel more exciting? Other people’s relationships seem to have a spark, a genuine closeness and enjoyment of the other person—why doesn’t yours? You value your relationship and the person you’re in relationship with, so you feel motivated to move toward a healthier dynamic. 


Relationship counseling can feel intimidating, particularly if your partner doesn't have the same focus or goals that you do. But there is power and hope in making the choice to face things together.

You can pursue valuable growth and change.

Your relationship used to feel full of life. You enjoyed each other. You trusted each other. But that all feels like a distant memory. These days, you feel like you're tiptoeing around each other, like anything you say or do could set the other person off. You know you can't go on this way.

Maybe counseling is something that you hope will breathe some fresh life into your relationship. Or perhaps counseling feels like a last-ditch effort to stay together. Maybe you’ve experienced infidelity or cheating in your relationship and it just doesn’t feel like something you can get through.

But your relationship doesn’t have to stay this way.

You can work together to create a relationship with the commitment you crave. You can learn to value each other and enjoy talking to each other. You can even put the romance back in your relationship!

Counseling will help you navigate difficult conversations and give you tools that can change the trajectory of your relationship—creating health and vitality for years and decades to come.


The process won't be easy, but if you're willing to work together, counseling can help your relationship grow into something more beautiful than you ever thought it could be.

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Through counseling, you will learn how to:

  • feel more connected to your partner

  • understand what is happening in your relationship when there’s tension

  • use skills that help you work through conflict rather than fight

  • know what to do when you’re frustrated with your partner

  • know what to do when you don’t feel heard 

You will benefit most from relationship counseling if:

  • you’re tired of walking on eggshells

  • your partner is open to being in therapy with you

  • you’re willing to be open and honest about your experiences and are willing to hear your partner’s perspective in session too

  • you’re willing to learn new strategies to help your relationship

  • you are willing to practice the tools your therapist gives you on a daily basis

The counseling process:

Therapy will help you identify the areas of your relationship that need focus. The therapist will help you build tools to improve these areas of your relationship and have you practice them. You will be asked to put the strategies you learn into practice between sessions in order to help your relationship feel stable and flourish.


Each therapy session is 50 minutes long. Your therapist may suggest longer sessions; this will be discussed prior to your session. For best results in improving your relationship, we recommend at least eight consecutive weeks of therapy. We have found that clients who do not commit to weekly sessions for eight weeks struggle to find satisfaction in meeting their goals and developing the relationship they want.


What to Expect

Week 1:

The first week is the intake session. The intake session is focused on helping demystify the counseling process. Your therapist will go through your completed paperwork and make sure that you and your partner understand what you are consenting to in therapy. Your therapist will also gather more information about you (and your partner), your social, biological, and psychological history; and anything else that may be impacting your relationship. Your therapist will make sure that we clearly understand your relationship goals for therapy and have a plan moving forward.

Week 2 and THE FOLLOWING weeks:

Your therapist will choose treatment strategies that best fit you and help you regain stability in your life. Each session will be focused on the therapist working with you to make sure you feel you are improving. This may require you to practice strategies during your week, between sessions.


Intermountain Counseling is committed to creating a safe, warm, and welcoming environment for you so you feel empowered and equipped to overcome the obstacles in your life.


Termination is the agreed-upon ending of the therapeutic relationship once goals are achieved and takes 1 to 3 sessions, depending on your needs. Therapy should be a springboard into life; your therapist will work with you to determine that you feel your goals have been met and that you are satisfied with what you have worked on.

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